


CFVY Served hot

by AlasaidarTHE001



Category: RWBY
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-30
Updated: 2018-07-30
Packaged: 2019-06-19 00:41:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15498465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlasaidarTHE001/pseuds/AlasaidarTHE001
Summary: CONTAINS VULGARITY SEXUAL THEMES AND RAMPANT SIDETRACKS  enjoyFox Alistair Narrates the Adventures of the Demise of Team CFVY. The team is on the hunt of something to do after the fall of beacon and are doing what any young adults are doing with no supervision. Whatever they feel like.I chose the less popular paings for the more comedic dynamic of the group. As most of these charecters have Limited CANON information on them i have decided to give them a lot more personality. Also any details that do not line up with CANON are probably intentional becuase with this story i don't care all that much.Also Fox's homeland might not exist on the map of Remnant in the exact location i mention. the best map i could find labelled the ISland as part of the Salt tribes Domain during the Age of Grimm so lets just go with that. Map provided by Firedart and Redrumsprinkles.





	CFVY Served hot

Before you ask I’m not a bloody junkie. I am fighter with health conditions. No its not related to snorting dust. Look do you want me to knock your bloody block off? We good Right? Right.  
My name is Fox Alistair and this is how Team CFVY died.  
Confused? You would be. Lets have a little bloody context and with that we need to get a little historical.  
I was born in Cotsland. For those who haven’t been around it’s a small part of North Vale jutting toward the Atlas controlled islands. It’s a bleak land of small buildings and ruddy violent seas it rains everyday and we are the most vulgar people on Remnant. We are don’t question it. It may come from being between two nations but our great culture heroes tend to end up dead a lot giving some kind of historical belief that we are freedom fighters. Most of us are fighting drunks but that’s about it. My parents were both that type and I don’t know how I got to be me.  
I’m a book person always have been always will be. However I’m also Cottish which means I was given boxing wrap for my fifth birthday. I was never the best but I never got my ass kicked for reading in the park.  
Now I assume at this point the ten of you who don’t actually know me are confused. Isn’t fox the stoic badass who walks behind Coco at all times, Well I am and that has to do with the Accident and lets be clear beforehand I am not a junkie.  
There’s a Schnee Dust company refinery in Aethelstan, the ‘capital’ of Cotsland, or Bean Town as its more commonly known. When I was ten, the factory went up and about fifteen hundred of us got a very nasty dose of Dust laden Smoke. You can read about it in the atlas records of course. Included in that number was about eighty school kids of which about seven of us are currently alive. Not a bad fate given how most of us would have turned out otherwise but the side effects were a really blood nuisance.  
Long term exposure to Dust or the equivalent dosage I got both take a high price. I got lucky with vocal damage, Retinal membrane destruction and skin discoloration. The only reasonable benefit is that skin discoloration which makes you look naturally tan. The complication of this was that everyone thinks I’m some stoic bloody badass from the far south with a wise side and their mostly right. Take what you can get Right?  
I am really opinionated and I got a wealth of pithy ways of saying so. That’s probably why I Ended up in Team CFVY. We excel at Snark.  
CFVY stands for Coco Fox Velvet and Yatsuhashi. We look like badasses and we fight like badasses but then you get to know us. Coco’s a bitch, I’m Me, Velvet is weak and Yat-sushi is a tool. We’ll get to that.  
When I Say Coco is a bitch I mean the most attractive way possible. A bitch is often believed to be any ill tempered woman but Coco is that special kind of bitch which combines the Perfect storm of Aloof self superiority, Smug Wealthy indifference and, the raw physical combat skill that combine into perhaps the most ill tempered and abusive woman I have ever met. She reminds me a lot of my mom except way more attractive. She even hits like my mom with a firm open hand. Of course I hit like my dad with a closed fist so we get along great.  
Velvet is the cutest button eyes soft furred rabbit eared little Faunus with most tragic backstory you will ever hear and smallest meekest personality you can ever imagine. She’s perfect piece of a lovable token girl that most guys would die for her if she was being attacked without ever having met her as nothing dangerous can ever happen to that perfect little button eyed face. And if something did happen to that face Velvet would crumple like a chocolate rabbit and dissolve, literally. I combat she get one hit and she falls down. Thankful she can jump twice her height and can run away from just about anything but when she broke into tears well dropping a tea kettle it’s a little much.  
That’s a true story. Coco and I were playing cards asonly a partly blind man from a vulgar part of the world and a girl who once smashed a coffee shop for serving her Carmel and Not Mocha can play cards. I mean with a lot of cheating. So were doing this and swearing and arguing as all good couples do and Velvet in the kitchen making tea. strike one, Never let Velvet near sharp objects or heating elements. Ears are really flammable. So Velvet had the kettle heating up and was preparing to poor the tea into the china pot. Strike two, never use a china pot. Proper tea is served in Tin cups from a metal tea pot so to best preserve the flavor or you use Styrofoam. So Velvet gets the tea in the pot and she get it on a tray and gets about half a step and drops the whole thing on the floor glass everywhere. Strike three, never give a job of carrying something to someone with sensitive hands. They will drop it. So Velvet is staring at the glass on the carpet and the rest of us is looking at us are looking at her and she breaks down into tears. So Yat-sushi in his infinite wisdom comes over and picks her up and takes her aside to coddle her back to sanity and I get the broom. If it was anyone else Coco’s first words would be ‘Dumbass’ at which point I would throw something at her and we would end up on the floor in a compromising situation. So the kicker is that Velvet was distraught for three days. For a Faunus she is really sensitive. One day that Winchester dickhead pulled her ears and Coco and I Had to give him an extracurricular lesson in pain. I was Professor Port’s teaching assistant when available so I had plenty of prior knowledge where the troglodyte would be. Besides two upper class men walking at night is not suspicious. We had Yat-sushi take Velvet out for Crepes or something to help her forget. Thankfully Coco gets a check from daddy dearest every week unlike Me or Velvet who’s parent left her on an old couples door stop or Yat-Suchi who was making rice balls at age six. Speaking of which.  
Yatsuhashi Daichi is the third generation inheritor of restaurant and regrettable physically outgrew the position in seven short years. He’s a tool who can cut with precision and can walk through walls if he isn’t paying attention. Lets be clear I like the guy but at times he’s just irritating. He’s just a pretentious meditative softie with a big sword and a big heart. He’s made for Velvet. The gentle giant who will make all the bad things in her life go away and treat her like the special snowflake she is. He can take a lot of hits but in the end he’s a brick wall to put Velvet behind when things actually get tough. For optimal performance add a little Coco as Yat-sushi is pretty weak when it comes to damage output. Me I’m all about the damage. Yat-Sushi is all about the defense and being a pure heart good guy. He’s still a tool but he’s from Mistral and their all a bunch of tossers.  
Oh is that racist? I’ve met a lot Mistral people most of them Haven exchange students and all of them have been irredeemable tossers. Lets take that first Year Neptune. You know who I mean the guy who dresses like the guys in Coco’s fashion mags and has a three mode weapon and Still has a win loss ratio lower than Velvet. Your beaten by a helpless little rabbit. But the worst part is that he’s afraid of water. If he was on our team Coco and I would have left him tied up in the shower to break him of that. But no this guy is so sheltered that he has never in his life been in a shower. Don’t believe me. I have it on good authority he uses those moisturizing papers to wipe himself clean. I bet that’s expensive. the Only Haven guy who isn’t a Tosser was that Guy Sun who was from Vaccuo which explains it perfectly.  
I did say I was opinionated.  
Anyway you came here for the juicy stuff the fall of Team CFVY. Well all of us are still alive for one so don’t get your hopes up.  
Well after the fall of beacon Coco decided that were would go hunting. Yeah with the grimm running around wild through the city of Vale we were going to go out into the wilderness and kill everything that lived. Great plan your Bitchiness but how are we going to do this? Any special plan ?  
You know how this kind of story goes.  
We go out into our deaths with some packs on our backs and our weapons in our hands. I let my scruff grow out and I assume Coco did too with those hairs growing on her chin. Plucking in the wilderness must be a pain. Serves her right.  
Coco probably wanted to test her skills after getting manhandled by those grimm. Not that I would mind doing the manhandling but I digress. It’s a habit I picked up from working with Port. That Man will be looking at lesson plan and will start on about hunting a Grimm Manticore with one of his big game hunting expeditions. Those were good stories and I want to get my own Manticore kill someday but that old windbag once spent the whole day talking about one of those hunts talking about what kind of bacon he had one night.  
I’m doing it again aren’t I. Well lets get back to the bloody point.  
So four teens walking in the wilderness are walking with our backpacks on our backs and huffing up a hill with Coco at the front being a rich person talking about the great wild outdoors.  
“I can’t believe there is no where to get a good shampooing in.” Coco is saying.  
“I think is saw a river.” Velvet suggested.  
“that’s a lake.” Yat-sushi smiles as he rubs Velvet’s back. I think he has a fur fetish.  
“have your tried to wash your hair with natural water?” Coco shouts at them. “its all thick and soupy and ruins the nature of the shampoo. How is my hair going to look if I end up with clumps of natural debris in it.”  
I walk by and pull a little of her hair. “feels fine to me lovely.”  
“that does it.” Coco swings at me. I of course dodge roll out of the way as you do. Coco of course comes after me and tries to kill me with her handbag swinging like one of those old ladies from my homeland.  
“you swing like a bloody Teapot.” I laugh.  
“You mean the Old lady part or the crossdressing comedian part?” Coco is starting to smile, “because if you did we’re going to get rough.”  
“oh please you look just Sean Cleese.” I lay that sick burn with an even sicker knee to the face.  
Coco can’t take a hit so instantly goes for Her Cannon. I think it’s a little over kill but I like her style.  
It was at the this point a Massive Ursa came crashing through the trees and of course its right behind me.  
“fox behind you!” velvet shouted.  
“oh the massive monster that reeks of death and destruction? I hadn’t noticed.” I punch him in the nuts where he shatters into little Grimm bits. That’s my thing apparently. I can shatter stuff. Maybe it will come in handy when I sell my biography.  
Its at this point that Coco guns me into the ground. Sometimes that Bitch really gets to you.  
Its several days later In town where Coco is doing her thing which means that she blowing more money than I could make in a year on clothes she doesn’t wear with Velvet who is more broke than me and that’s saying something. Yatsushi is standing at a street corner when I arrive with the coffee. He smiles. I should knock that grin off his face though I might break my fist on that pretty boy chin. Coco and Velvet come bearing the loot of a fruitful travels in seventeen funny colored bags.  
“Ok I got the damn coffees.” I shudder to call it coffee because it isn’t. “one weak ass green tea with ginger.” Yatsushi takes it. “One iced latte with Extra sugar and three expresso.” Coco. “and one vente cream and carmel.” For velvet obviously.  
“You know Fox you don’t ever get coffee.” Velvet asked as she sipped hers with a straw.  
“He thinks coffee tastes like tar and oil.” Coco noted.  
“it’s to wake up. Not to sip.” I think on the white Styrofoam cups that are common in my homeland.  
“and that explains why they use coffee oils and not beans?” Coco asked.  
“you don’t have to Like Dunkies. It hates you back.”  
Yatsushi is rubbing Velvet’s head. The two spend a lot of time together these days. Must be the ears. Fetishes need no explaining.  
“Oh shut up fox.” Coco ditches the half drunk coffee into the trash can. “I got this shirt I want you to try on.”  
“if one of those that has the Vacuo flag on it I’m going to break your glasses.”  
“Why are you so damn unfashionable?”  
“I have scars. Its called being tough.”  
“your ugly.”  
“that not what you said in bed.”  
Yatsushi puts his hands over velvet’s ears. Some people have sensitives hearts. Sometimes I like breaking those open. That’s why I sleep with Coco. Breaking a rich girl is kind of fun even if she still is a bitch but then I like bitches.


End file.
